Evil? Or Just An Eternal Toddler?

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Everyone wants to be heard; to know that their opinion matters, that THEY matter. But there is a difference between being “heard” (i.e. “understood”) vs. winning people over to agree with your opinion. It’s when people get these two concepts confused that problems arise.

Most of us learn at a very early age that we can’t always get our way, or at least we can’t always get what we want, when we want it or in the exact manner we want it. That’s what the so-called “Terrible Twos” is all about. The reason that you don’t hear about the Terrible Five’s, Ten’s, or Thirty’s, is because the majority of us figure out how to balance our personal needs and desires, with the needs and desires of our parents, siblings, neighbors, countrymen, and the world. It’s that simple but vital skill of Give-and-Take that distinguishes civilization from barbarism. It’s learning to play well with others.

Unfortunately, not everyone successfully learns the lessons necessary to progress past the stage where a toddler suddenly is faced with the fact that they are not the center of the world, and so these Eternal Toddlers [“ET’s”] continue to believe that everyone outside of themselves exists solely to satisfy their needs and desires. When confronted by the reality that they cannot make everyone snap to attention at their every beck and call, the ET ends up feeling constantly thwarted, oppressed, unappreciated, disrespected, and even abandoned. In turn, those feelings lead to intense, never-ending anger at those the ET perceives have come between them and their desires that they ultimately deal with by turning that anger back on others (in the form of adult temper tantrums or worse) and/or on themselves (i.e. self-loathing, severe depression, suicide). This is hardly a satisfying strategy to procure either the respect of others or a realistic sense of self-worth for the ET. As obvious as that equation may seem, ET’s rarely appear capable of recognizing the folly of that mindset or recalibrating their expectations and methods of communication that’s needed to escape the viscious circle they’re trapped in.

It is easy to fall into the trap of judging an ET – especially when you’re caught within the scope of an ET’s rage or continually compelled to witness the dark, disheartening world of an ET who has turned their rage inward. The inclination to yell “Snap out of it”, “Get Real”, “Grow-Up”, or “#!!?@!&!!! You!”, is understandable yet it’s foolish and counter-productive to give into your frustration that way, and can even be putting yourself at risk of great danger. So what can you do when your life crosses with an ET that won’t set you up as their Eternal Victim [“EV”]? The easy answer is to walk away and fuggetaboudit. But that’s not always possible, especially if you have conflicting feelings such as actually liking the person or even loving them, or if you’re stuck with having to deal with them for professional or other reasons. It’s heartbreaking to watch otherwise intelligent, decent people self-destruct and fearsome when an ET has the attitude of “Take No Prisoners”.

Lamentably, we are powerless to make the necessary changes for them. All we can do is try to be patient, to listen, to maintain our self-composure and dignity, to always maintain our self-respect, try to protect ourselves the best that we can, and then pray. Pray for a miracle that forces the ET take stock of themself, gather the strength to face the truth and seek help to turn their life around. Keep reminding yourself you did nothing wrong to deserve the ET’s venom. Forgive the ET, who is undoubtedly hurting even more than you, but don’t forget to take cover. And most important of all, constantly remind yourself that you can survive anything as long as you stick to the truth, never act with malice, and never stop having faith that somehow, somewhere, some time, you’ll finally be free.

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Raging

Fury

Mad As Hell

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Pollyanna Lives!

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It’s been so long since I’ve been able to post. So much going on in my head. So much going on in my life. While my body continues to fail me, my efforts to beat the clock have succeeded beyond what I ever dared to hope for, and I’ve somehow managed to continue to grow while dying. (Is that a Dylan song in the making, or what?)

Optimism is an odd but powerful creature and my religion of choice. I’ve been labelled a “Pollyanna” by those who intended it as a derision, but I have always worn that as a badge of honor. To me, the label means that nothing is impossible. Improbable, yeah. But not impossible. Even when I’m overwhelmed, have good reason for feeling sorrowful and afraid, a voice inside nags at me to “just hang on, as this, too, shall pass.“ Without that voice, I would have succumbed long ago. Without that voice, I would not even want to survive. But with that voice, I will always look forward to tomorrow and whatever it may bring.

While I have never really made specific plans for the future, I learned early on the importance of being open to whatever came knocking on my door. It’s taken me in so many directions – wonderful directions – which were well beyond my ability to conceive of beforehand, and led to a rich and enjoyable life filled with interesting and wonderful friends and associates. The only downside (besides my health) has been in trying to keep up with all the plates I’ve got spinning. I have tried to give 100% to everyone and every cause. I know that in my heart, the commitment is there, but have yet to be able to consistently show it. Never enough hours, never enough energy. But as I truly believe that nothing is impossible, I’ll keep on trying and hopefully my friends will continue to understand and put up with my sporadic bursts of activity and periods of quiet.

Free Clip-Art / Icons of the Day: ”Brass Balz” Series, Part 1

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Easter Tiger Lily (card) card
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Not A Dry Eye In The House

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I am back, but not completely. My 2 week hiatus from blogging was due to an unexpected, emergency trip back to Pennsylvania. The traveling alone wreaked havoc on my health, but the cruel insanity I was subjected to has broken my heart. I am not one who cries very easily, having been brought up to fear being given “something to really cry about”, as my mother would put it. In fact, I recall only coming to tears once in the last 20 years and that was when two of our dearest, life-long friends passed away within just weeks of each other. But over the last 6 days, I have made up for a lifetime of being the stoic one, by bawling my eyes out, being choked up, and feeling a huge pit in my stomach double me over. I am lost as to how to come to peace with what happened and at the same time feel like a complete fool for having expected anything different.

Once again, I know I have been going on about something that I’ve been very vague about, but I am lost for the right words so figure it’s best to stay silent. While I’m still feeling quite sad now, I am so grateful and blessed to have such a wonderful, loving, supportive Hubby and Son, and so many great friends to come home to. I promise y’all that I will get passed this and be back to my usual cheery, optimistic self and will do my darndest to not let you down.

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My Broken Heart

Crying 2Crying

Crying 5

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Crying 3

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