There is a part of me that feels heartsick over the fact that relationships I have with people I’ve never even had the pleasure of meeting are closer and more fulfilling than what I have with my one and only, flesh and blood sibling. My sensible side screams “BULLSH*T!”
The old maxim that “Blood is thicker than water” may be scientifically true but fails miserably as an analogy for the strength of the bond and loyalty from kin. While the opportunity for family to develop deep love and respect generally is greater than outsiders may get, there is nothing inherent in our DNA that guarantees friendship or trust. We may wish it so and delude ourselves that memorizing platitudes will make them come true but all that nets are foolish expectations and energy wasted for naught. Sadly, I don’t stand-alone in wrestling with such farce. It is exactly because this conundrum is all too common, that it’s occurred to me lately, we need to change the message.
Nature and nurture have long been debated as to which most controls who we are, yet significant as those factors may be, the most important element is choice. I suppose some believe that by drumming the sentiment that family sticks together through thick and through thin is all that it takes for self-fulfilling prophecy to flourish, but the history of man has proven that false going back as far as Cain and Abel. Genetics and training are no more than the canvas and palette upon which our individual choices build, layer upon layer of rich colors and light or the monotony of a single tone. Focusing in, one only sees their self and forfeits the depth of experience that connects sole to souls. While blood may serve to help create our potential, what we choose is who we become. So perhaps the loss we may feel over blood that is heartless should be no more and no less than the effect of a stranger, and so too, should we cherish the love.
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