Home » Avatars » This post will give you the Willies!

This post will give you the Willies!

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This week was pretty heavy for me. Some research I’ve been doing for a friend has really put me to the test and I came face-to-face with the realization that I am probably never going to get rid of this “chemo brain” completely. While my friend has been gracious and seems quite pleased with the results of my efforts so far, he didn’t know me before I got sick and so has no way of knowing that the “old” me would’ve accomplished 5x as much and the depth and quality of my research and writing would have been far superior. I’ve heard some people say that being a perfectionist is a bad thing – but I’ve never understood that point of view, as long as I don’t expect others to be perfect (which I don’t). Of course, I’ve never been perfect but if I hadn’t expected it of myself, I would never have been able to learn and accomplish what I have in the past. I’m not neurotic about it. It’s that the efforts involved in trying to be perfect was just a challenge I really enjoyed and I really miss having the physical stamina and the mental ability to focus at the same level I used to.


In any event, because of the strain of this week, I really needed to do something light and fun and playful. Since my brain was too shot to dredge up an original idea, I went searching for some kids coloring pages and found a delightful abundance of sites with just what I was looking for. The absolute best site I found (based on variety, originality, and just in general fun) was one coming out of France. You should check it out as it’s just a delight. http://www.coloriage-enfants.com/ – As to the character I selected, the website indicated his name is “Winni Windel”. I was unfamiliar with the character and so did a search and came up with literally hundreds of websites and blogs for Winni Windel coloring pages or animations but only one single website that is a likely candidate for originating this adorable “diaper baby”. The site is for Steffen Soulejman Janus, who is “an internationally interactive specialist. He was Co-Founder of foco design studios in Germany and Switzerland and acted as CEO, Senior Project Manager and Creative Director for the company. For the past ten years, he set new standards in nonlinear interface design, online communications, branding and sales….” And he’s got a hell of an impressive list of clients! As to Winni, under his projects page is posted an online design study for diaper character Winnie promotion” completed in 2001 that he created for Optipresent Media AG, Munich Germany. The finished project can be found at Windel Winni Reloaded. It’s in German so you may need to use a translation plug-in or just enjoy the pictures. According to this site (unlike the hundreds of others – but obviously more authoritative) the character is named “Windel Winni” and not the other way around.

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Winni Windel - Sleepy

Winni Windel - Glee

Winni Windel - Electrifying

7 thoughts on “This post will give you the Willies!

  1. Hi Leslie,
    Your post here reminds me of a visit with a memory specialist I had several years ago. He said I had lost some memory, had some mild cognitive impairment, although the cause is up for grabs, but that I was fine because now I’m average.
    Sigh… I was never a brain scientist but my mind is nothing like it was before Chronic Fatigue syndrome. So, tonight, as I’m tired and my brain is kind of like mush, I suggested to my son that he color. We went to the site and right now, as I write he is coloring a picture of Batman. He’s almost finished. He loved the site.
    Thanks for sharing and for giving us an idea to have a little easy fun.

    • While it’s always nice to receive compliments, it’s really wonderful to hear that something I wrote, said, created or included in my posts were somehow able to be helpful to a reader. That really is my sole motivation for doing this blog in the first place. So, glad to have been of help and thank you so much for telling me!
      As to your experiences with Chronic Fatigue, my heart goes out to you. It is so easy for people who have not experienced such “brain fog” to dismiss it as inconsequential as long as you’re still capable of remembering your own name and the current date (at least most of the time). I often wonder whether it is perhaps a blessing for someone to have been born with “merely” average or even well-below average intelligence since I assume that would mean they wouldn’t ever have to contend with “losing” an aspect of themselves that had played such an important role in their life. But then I chastise myself for trying to compare any person’s tragedies or triumphs with anyone else’s as that seems to be inherently unfair and without any benefit to anyone. Ah well. I guess it’s okay to mope once in a while as long as I don’t take it too seriously.

  2. Thanks Leslie. Sometimes, in my life anyway, ten minutes of seeing my son free from his worries, is a blessing. He really enjoyed coloring Batman and then he colored one of the Jetsons –dark brown. I thought that was funny. My son is part Native American so maybe that’s why he chose to make his skin dark.
    He was having such a rough time and that coloring made him smile, took his focus and he was quite proud. I scanned it and will share it soon.
    About the doctors and the brain fog, both of which are hard to deal with, the memory specialist, whom I esp., didn’t like, told me nearly the same thing you wrote here. He said if I hadn’t remembered being “brighter,” then it wouldn’t bother me. Well, I do remember and it still bothers me.
    I had a fairly good day today. I hope you have. Thank you again for sharing! I really mean that.

  3. Hi Leslie,
    Your, WinniWindel-electrifying, fit perfectly for one of my articles, “Fibromyalgia, Severe pain and Injuries.” I knew when I first saw him I wanted to use the icon, or that he would certainly fit with something I would write. While trying to describe a certain pain, I remembered Winni, or, Windel, either way he is too cute! Once again, thank you!

  4. Hi Leslie!
    I got here because of dogkisses and I love what you’ve done. I’ve often wondered as well if it would have been better to not have had an above average intelligence because then I wouldn’t know what I’ve lost. It seems we have this desire to be perfect and challenge ourselves to live up to this every day. Is this why we end up with chronic illness? Do we just burn ourselves out?

    Thank you for this beautiful post and I look forward to reading more!


    • There have been many people in my life who used to warn me that I was going to burn myself out and some who even had the cruelness to say “I told you so”. But what none of them recognized was that inside myself, I have always felt that there was some purpose to my life – something I was meant to do that would make a positive difference for my having been giving the gift of life and that my “job” was to discover what that purpose was and fulfill it. At the same time, I have also been acutely aware – without knowing why until seven years ago – that my time here was going to be limited far more than I would like. And so I’ve always felt this compulsion not to waste a single second of my life. To live and experience every moment of it – the good and the bad – aiming towards that purpose. Ironically, it was in being confined to bed and prevented from physically participating in the world in the “normal” manner that I was able to finally find and understand my purpose. So what I take from this is that each of us simply has to listen to the voice inside ourselves and follow our hearts and not try to second-guess ourselves.
      Glad to have you aboard, Rosemary! (and thanks to dogkisses for being so supportive and introducing you!)

    • Disclaimer: ** I remember writing a reply to you earlier but can’t seem to find evidence of it either on my blog nor my sent mail box. Don’t know what happened to it. If you already got it, great. If not, while I can’t recall exactly what I wrote originally, the sentiment’s the same.

      Hi Rosemary!
      Thanks so much for taking the time to post a comment on my web (and for the compliment on my artwork). You raise an interesting question. I know that certain people in my life have at various times accused me of doing just what you asked (burning myself out) – as far as those particular people are concerned, they meant it as an “accusation” in order to assign responsibility for my poor health and particularly for the fatal prognosis squarely on my shoulders. Because I knew they had an ulterior motive for their comments, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t true so I checked with each of my doctors and also did a lot of research on it. This is what I found out and how I view it:

      There are quite a lot of studies that have been done over the last 30 years about the effects of intellectual and emotional stress (individually and together) on the body. I won’t go into all the details but the upshot is that is generally accepted by mainstream medical professionals, worldwide, that extreme mental (emotional – not intellectual) stress over a prolonged period of time can indeed weaken the immune system and as a result, can both leave a person more susceptible to various infections, viruses, bacteria, and associated diseases. Such stress can also aggravate an existing condition in the same way. The key points though are that stress by itself does not and cannot cause any you to suffer any illness (chronic or otherwise) and there is a definite difference between “good” stress and “bad” stress (although I have not found any scientific explanation as to why there is such a difference.) Both good and bad stress cause various chemical changes in your body and both have the ability to cause other changes such as your heart beating faster, shallow breathing or the opposite, heavy breathing, as just two examples. Good stress comes from things like having sex or running in a competitive marathon or winning an election or saying “I Do” before a preacher or rabbi. Bad stress comes from being subjected to constant, unwarranted harassment; witnessing some atrocious unspeakable event (such as war); being placed in constant fear for your life, etc. In other words, the difference between good vs. bad stress is that the “good” stress is generated by some internal need or desire that you have chosen to subject yourself to while “bad” stress is the result of exterior forces which you have no control over (or at least believe you have no control over). Of course, not all people who are exposed to bad stress suffer from some kind of illness (chronic or otherwise). But that does not mean that those who do suffer are somehow “at fault”. The reason for this is that bad stress is only one part of the equation as to why you might get sick or have your existing medical condition exacerbated by bad stress. What also has to occur simultaneous to the stress and strain on your immune system is either a pre-existing predilliction to certain illnesses (either due to genetics or environmental factors) and/or exposure to an external physical agent (virus, bacteria, etc.).

      Bottom Line? No, I don’t think that perfectionism can cause any chronic illness – as long as the desire to improve yourself and do the absolute best job you can comes from your inherent nature rather than from unreasonable, external pressure.

      Of course, this is my personal (but fairly educated – albeit non-formally educated) opinion.


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